Jamie Ayers is hosting a first page critique contest on her blog! It's not too late to sign up either. She has moved the deadline until next Wednesday, but contact her right away so you have time to get plenty of critique from others. Here is the info straight from Jamie, "If you’d like to participate, then please email me at email@example.com & post the first page of your manuscript on YOUR blog. I will compile a list of the participating blogs and post them here. That way, everyone can hop around and post constructive feedback on each others first page. I will randomly draw five names to receive a personal critique from [author] Heather [Burch]."
Very cool! Thanks Jamie!
Now on the my entry...
Name: Sharon Bayliss
Genre: Upmarket Contemporary Fantasy
Word Count: 90,000
Pitch: When David’s missing children are found, they claim that their abuser had been a dark wizard. The case manager believes they use this fairy tale to cope with their trauma, but David suspects otherwise.
David never ignored calls from unknown numbers. The only times he didn’t answer unknowns were in church, in important business meetings, and while making love to his wife. Any phone call could be the one he had been waiting to receive for the past eleven years.
The call came when David was lying in bed with Amanda watching television. She was asleep with her head on his arm. His fingers were tingling from the weight of her head cutting off his circulation, but he didn’t push her away. Not quite yet. This was the only time in the day when she slowed down enough that he could see the blond tips of her eyelashes or the freckles between her breasts. No one else noticed these things, perhaps not even Amanda herself.
When his phone rang on the nightstand, Amanda opened her eyes. It was a 432 area code. His heart rate increased.
“It’s past eleven,” Amanda said.
“All your kids are at home, babe, so it’s nothing important like that. Business can wait until morning.”
“Hello,” David said into the receiver.
“May I speak with David Vandergraff?” The woman on the end of the line had a thick West Texas accent and she stretched out the vowels in his last name.
“This is he,” David said.
Amanda shook her head and rolled over in bed. He knew that she had long since given up on his unexplained phone answering addiction.
“My name is Josie Barstow, I work for the Odessa Police Department. I’m calling about the missing persons report you filed for your children in 2002.”