When I was writing a query, I wanted a Mad-Libs style template that would tell me exactly what to say. Query writing may not be quite that simple, but there is a standard formula that will work for most stories. If you don't know where to begin or if you want to scrap everything and start over, try using this template to get you started.
By the way, this isn't intended to be the world's greatest query. I wrote it tonight based on my Sims 3 Supernatural characters. :)
Template for a query:
1. Introduce your main character. (Leif Trick) Share a detail to give a taste of their character. (blue hair, collects bugs) If the setting is important, share a detail about that too. (Moonlight Falls)
2. Describe the inciting incident that changes the MC's life forever and sends them on their journey. (drinks potion and sprouts fairy wings)
3. Outline the MC's primary goal. (Find cure to reverse fairy transformation)
4. Describe the obstacle getting in the way of the goal (zombie invasion makes being a fairy useful)
5. Summarize stakes or conflict (Being fairy and saving town vs. meeting goal of being normal again)
6. Title, word count, genre, comps, & bio.
Aside
from his blue hair and an affinity for collecting bugs, sixteen-year-old Leif
Trick isn't too different from the other teenagers in the suburban neighborhood
of Moonlight Falls. [SB1] That is until his way-too-pretty neighbor
Cadence Good convinces him to try his first sip of alcohol. If Leif had known
Cadence was a fledgling witch, he might have thought twice. Instead of getting
a hangover, he wakes up the next morning with two giant fairy wings.[SB2]
Cadence
confesses that she spiked his drink with Essence of the Fae, but did not know
the effects would be permanent. Not interested in finding out what the bullies
at school would do to an actual fairy, Leif agrees to run away from home with
Cadence to visit a secret scientific facility testing a supernatural cure. [SB3] On their way to the facility, they learn
that the residents of Moonlight Falls are being turned into zombies and Leif's
fairy dust may be the only thing that can reverse the zombie curse. [SB4] Now he must decide whether or not to
accept a life with wings and return home or seek out the spell that will turn
him human again.[SB5]
ESSENCE OF THE FAE is a 90,000 word YA paranormal based on a game
of Sims 3 Supernatural that I’m playing. I am a member of the Fairy Tale
Writers League and YALitChat. My short story “Reticulating Splines” appeared in
the May 2012 issue of the Sim City Review.[SB6]
And now with my real successful query for The Charge...
Dear Curiosity
Quills Editor,
Eighteen-year-old
Warren King has been protecting his brother, Isaac, from bullies ever since
Isaac decided to wear a top hat to the third grade. [SB1] So when Isaac is kidnapped, Warren heads out to bust some
faces. But Warren didn’t expect the bully to be the King of the Texas
Empire. Warren’s mother confesses that Warren and his brother are some of
the last members of the Texas royal family. [SB2] The new King is hunting down his relatives before the true heir
decides to say, “Hey man, you’re in my seat.”[SB3]
Warren must save his
brother and avoid capture himself armed with nothing more than a fifteen year
old Camry and MapQuest directions to Texas. [SB4] He gets help from a spirited Texan named Lena who is first girl
that ever made him want to do things like iron creases in his pants.
She’s ready to help him take on the King, but since she’s an anti-monarchy
activist dating the son of the President of the United States, he’s not
sure if she’s going to kiss him or shoot him. [SB5] Gone are the days when choosing a major was a big deal. Now he must
embark into a West that stayed wild and choose to be King, follow a King, or
die before he can retire his fake ID.[SB6]
THE CHARGE is an
80,000 word New Adult science fiction adventure set on an alternate timeline
where a dictator took over the Republic of Texas in 1836 and built his own
empire in the West. It can stand alone, but I have outlined it to be the
first book in a five part series.[SB7]
Sincerely,
Sharon Bayliss
[SB7]Title,
word count, genre. I couldn’t think of any good comps. J CQ does not request a bio in
the query.
You can see with the two examples that there is naturally going to be some variation in ordering and the details needed, but the same basic concepts are the focus of the queries.
Super simple blank template:
(Age*)_____ year old (Name)_______ is (interesting detail)_________ in (place) ________. Then one day (inciting incident)___________.
Now (name)_______ must (goal)___________. But (obstacle)_________ is stopping him/her. (Name)_______ must decide whether to (choice #1)_______ or (choice #2)________ or (stakes)_______ will happen.
*Age is only needed in MG, YA, and NA
Obviously, if you just filled this out, it would be a pretty lame query, but it could give you the basic framework. It can help to quiet the noise of all those details in the book that seem critical to you, but probably should be left out of the query. After you have the basic format down, then infuse it with voice (which I'll talk about later).
Try this out and let me know how it works for you!
Here are some of my past blog entries on queries:
I'd also like to share my favorite query link, "The Parts of a Good Query Letter" by Susan Dennard.
Such a simple formula and you make is look so easy. if only it were so...
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. I can't wait to try it out and come back and show you what I did with it. But first, I'm going to check out the links you posted!!
hi Sharon,
ReplyDeleteI went to leave a comment on Thea's Blog, but I do not have wordpress, twitter or facebook and therefore could not login on her blog. I'm leaving a message here for her and hopefully she will stop by here and see it:(
My culinary skills are begging for help and I'm always on the lookout for a new award to add to my stash! Yay! I'm looking forward to this month with more excitement than a five year old on Christmas Eve!
Thanks for your help I'm going to be cooking up with you this month:)
Talynn
After about a berjillion versions of my query, I finally went about it almost exactly as you laid it out here. I wish I'd had this template BEFORE all that drama! It's so hard to pick what information should be in a query when the whole MS is swirling around in your head. Using a formula like this to get started helps nail down the important points. :D
ReplyDeleteHi Laura, I'm so glad it was helpful!
ReplyDeletelove it! i finally wrote a good query too!
ReplyDeleteSharon,
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by. I followed your advice but especially your formula. I've re-posted a new version and hope I've gotten rid off all the passive phrases. Thanks for that, but especially for this formula, you make it seem so easy.
Without sounding to 'suck uppy' This has been a great experience, frustrating at times, but that's what writing is, you get stuck, you get mad, you walk away, you come back and suddenly things begin to make sense. And none of it would have happened without the support and help of all the super villain and minions. I've learned a lot and all the posts about successful queries have really helped. I put links to them on my blog page today. So thank you!
Hi Yolanda,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to hear it's been helpful! It makes me feel great to know that you're getting a lot out of this experience. Writing a query really is a painful process, but if you keep doing those re-writes you'll get there. I'll check out your new version.
:)
Sharon
Oh Sharon, your Sim-themed references make me chuckle. I really like this template, though, and I think it would help a lot of people, especially those who really have no idea where to begin when writing a query (read: me a few years ago). You put the ideas in easy to understand terms and used clear examples. Well done!
ReplyDelete