Thursday, April 17, 2014

#NestPitch SB8: You Can Still Make A Baby With Your Socks On

Category/Genre: Women's Fiction/Adult

Word Count: 52,000 

Pitch: The humorous and heartwarming story of what happens when a thirty year old accepts a dare to follow one piece of advice from each of her hilarious grandmother’s letters.

If the MC was an Easter egg...

Black, to hide dirt. Or white, everything looks crisp when it is white, except dirt. 

Excerpt:

Dear Aida,

I hope you got the socks I sent you. When I first mailed them, they were in a regular sized envelope with one of those return address labels from the Easter Seals. I always feel bad using those since I only donated $5 back in 1992 and since then they’ve sent me enough labels to cover the Great Wall of China. Of course, I would never actually use those labels on the Great Wall because I wouldn’t want that many people knowing where I live, but it doesn’t matter because two days later the envelope was returned.

Do you remember our mailman Chris? The one whose brother is gay but you would never know it because he always wears his shirts all untucked and sloppy? Well, he knocked on the door on Thursday with my letter in his hand. He told me that I didn’t put enough postage on it. I told him that it had to be a mistake because I only sent one pair of trouser socks and I even ironed them before putting them in the envelope. I explained to him that trouser socks weigh much less than tube socks or knee highs so they wouldn’t require nearly as much postage. I tried to lift up my pant leg to show him the difference, but he stopped me as I was holding on to his shoulder for support. In the end, I had to find a new envelope and a few more stamps. Thank goodness I had so many of those Easter Seal labels.

Anyway, remember to keep them on when you walk on those wood floors of your new apartment. I saw on Doctor Oz that it really is true that you can get the flu from cold feet. I know it will take a while to feel like home, but you will heal from this, Aida. You will.

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1 comment:

  1. ON BEHALF OF COCKTAIL BUNNY: 1 dozen nougat fill Choc. eggs

    ReplyDelete