Recently, I did a public query critique on Jessa Russo's blog and I have some overflow going on today.
Thank you so much to the brave volunteers who were open to having their queries critiqued publicly! *Gulp* I know it's scary and horrible. I've been there. I'll be honest, but don't worry, I have no interest in showing off how snarky I can be at your expense. And, happily, both of these are pretty good. :)
Everyone who had their query critiqued has won a free digital copy of Destruction! Congratulations! I hope you enjoy it.
If you're interested, here is my how-to post on queries:
The Query Formula
Please help out these brave authors by also posting your own feedback in comments!!
Query #1
But when Emmy’s called to a crime scene involving a sacrificially flayed shapeshifter whose soul can’t identify his murderer, it quickly becomes apparent she’s dealing with a demon magick mastermind unlike any other. Then another shapeshifter is killed and the murderer leaves an ominous message about Mommy Dearest in the victim’s memories. Emmy realizes that unearthing the demonic magick in her blood might be the only way to stop the madman, even if it means finally facing her past and walking right into her mother’s trap.
Complete at 92,000 words, SOUL SKINNED is an urban fantasy that will appeal to fans of Jennifer Estep’sElemental Assassin series and Stacia Kane’s Downside Ghosts series. I didn't fix it so you can see it and make sure it's fixed on your final drafts, there is a space missing between "Estep's" and "Elemental." Though a standalone novel, SOUL SKINNED has series potential.
Per the guidelines on the [XXX Literary Agency] website, I have included [requested materials] Thank you very much for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.
I think it is great! You laid out the plot well. It's all very clear and sounds like a compelling story. Good luck!
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Query #2
Sixteen-year-old Sara's
Sara wasn’t raised to ask for help, but she needs to decide who she can trust before it all falls apart. It’s no longer just her grades on the line, but her first love, her health and most importantly, her mother.
Chemicals Collide is a 75,000 word, young adult novel that delves into the world of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Jodie Llewellyn holds a Bachelor of Communications from the University of the Sunshine Coast.
So excited to see another story I recognize from Nest Pitch! I was SO close to picking this one too. I had it in alternates and was happy to see another blogger snatch it up. As I said, the first paragraph reads a little clunky to me at the end, but otherwise I think it's a strong query. Well done!
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Don't see your query yet? I plan to do one more post. :)
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